tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post1515785764621735230..comments2023-11-06T12:28:13.575-05:00Comments on A Million Monkeys: Harmony, by Melanie AvilaJon VanZilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14026643422328853037noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-10427377591061456482009-07-22T09:44:48.222-04:002009-07-22T09:44:48.222-04:00LOL. Thanks Robin. :)LOL. Thanks Robin. :)Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-34281693511355772192009-07-20T21:23:27.812-04:002009-07-20T21:23:27.812-04:00Very cool, Melanie! Compelling. It so quickly dr...Very cool, Melanie! Compelling. It so quickly drew me into this world. You're like George Orwell only cuter.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12396540555696283171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-71436485809577508742009-07-20T12:27:23.973-04:002009-07-20T12:27:23.973-04:00Thanks ladies. I really had fun with this one!Thanks ladies. I really had fun with this one!Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-37964688842867095472009-07-19T22:13:57.976-04:002009-07-19T22:13:57.976-04:00You already know how I feel about it, Melanie, but...You already know how I feel about it, Melanie, but I'll say it again: I just love this story! Totally rocks!Spy Scribblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14299551957327543491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-84694759572203960572009-07-19T09:16:25.788-04:002009-07-19T09:16:25.788-04:00LOVED this. Loved it. Absolutely compelling--and b...LOVED this. Loved it. Absolutely compelling--and brings you, as Jon said, into a world in an instant.<br /><br />EErica Orloffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16415925758466527671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-10839288849676020472009-07-17T12:27:09.048-04:002009-07-17T12:27:09.048-04:00Amazing short, Mel! I loved the tension and the w...Amazing short, Mel! I loved the tension and the way you weaved the backstory neatly into the present. Great imagery!staceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12052151454821255784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-28954375545703105912009-07-17T12:19:27.173-04:002009-07-17T12:19:27.173-04:00Thanks guys. I must admit, at first the paper was ...Thanks guys. I must admit, at first the paper was just a random piece of paper but I thought it'd be cool to tie it into the signals. My thinking was that not everyone lost theirs as quickly, so this was just one more person losing their grip on it.<br /><br />But that's an easy fix.Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-84817956286257769752009-07-17T10:09:38.121-04:002009-07-17T10:09:38.121-04:00Yeah, I think she really raised the bar with this ...Yeah, I think she really raised the bar with this one, Jon.Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-4467473499645889552009-07-17T09:26:37.426-04:002009-07-17T09:26:37.426-04:00Me first today ...
I thought this story was fanta...Me first today ...<br /><br />I thought this story was fantastic for a few reasons. I LOVED the use of the prompt -- the people weren't pointing, they were giving some kind of signal to their overlords/occupiers. Really original. Really good. <br /><br />Also, in a very few words, there was both effective backstory and world-building. But perhaps what worked even better for me were the things left unsaid. By leaving all the major details unexplained -- who are these copters exactly -- I was free to fill it in myself. <br /><br />So basically, Melanie, I thought this story totally rocked. <br /><br />But (and, of course, there's always a but), I had one small quibble. You give the story of the signals, how they were first flimsy paper, then branded, then people using their fingers. Very cool. But near the end, while she's signaling, a discarded paper signal blew against her legs. I admit, I got confused by this and had to stop for a second to sort it out. Nobody was using paper signals, right? So why was a paper signal floating around? <br /><br />This wouldn't have mattered at all, except for one thing: the central concept of your story is the signaling. So for a second, I doubted my understanding. Then I figured it out, and the sun shined, and all was right in my world again. <br /><br />Anyway, seriously, I really, really liked this. As we say in crit group, the fix is one sentence. Great job!Jon VanZilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026643422328853037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-78381428751203109192009-07-17T09:21:07.042-04:002009-07-17T09:21:07.042-04:00Our grim future as binary slaves?
Nice take, Mela...Our grim future as binary slaves?<br /><br />Nice take, Melanie. Chilling.Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.com