tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post1654808537420478146..comments2023-11-06T12:28:13.575-05:00Comments on A Million Monkeys: Hike, by Melanie AvilaJon VanZilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14026643422328853037noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-41078968189329210282009-10-19T12:48:51.461-04:002009-10-19T12:48:51.461-04:00Oh, and I can't believe I tricked so many of y...Oh, and I can't believe I tricked so many of you! I thought everyone would get it when I talked about her long legs. :PMelanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-79780857548755676722009-10-19T12:48:03.014-04:002009-10-19T12:48:03.014-04:00Thanks everyone!
I like the idea of a double mea...Thanks everyone! <br /><br />I like the idea of a double meaning title, or even something like Spiders on a Hike, or Spider Encounter... which are off the top of my head and BAD, but that idea.Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-24984859091653312012009-10-19T01:52:50.449-04:002009-10-19T01:52:50.449-04:00Mel- That was so good. I too had to look back to s...Mel- That was so good. I too had to look back to see that they were spiders. Very unique way of telling the story. <br /><br />So should I feel bad when I squish them?erica m. chapmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14773306703153110737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-55716312101392692702009-10-17T12:38:30.093-04:002009-10-17T12:38:30.093-04:00I was thinking if it was titled "The Spiders&...I was thinking if it was titled "The Spiders" that readers still wouldn't expect the characters to <i>be</i> spiders. It's not obvious at all until the last line. But a double entendre title would be cool too.Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-26208736183925026372009-10-17T08:22:04.037-04:002009-10-17T08:22:04.037-04:00Well . . . I was dense, but then when it was EXPLA...Well . . . I was dense, but then when it was EXPLAINED to me, of course I got it. LOL!<br /><br />I don't think you need to call it The Spiders, but a double entendre title, or even having the parents have some sort of cute spidery nickname for each other or something . . . would have done it for me. <br /><br />Cute concept.Erica Orloffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16415925758466527671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-84484280979030920042009-10-16T17:44:16.431-04:002009-10-16T17:44:16.431-04:00You know, I would hate for it to be so obvious tha...You know, I would hate for it to be so obvious that the title says it all. :-) I think you can solve the problem by just posting the photo with it. It's a multi-media story! :-)<br /><br />I loved this! I skimmed after I finished to enjoy all the clues I missed the first time, and then I just outright re-read the whole thing, and found more.<br /><br />Way fun and way cool, Melanie! :-)Spy Scribblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14299551957327543491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-22195470385103775652009-10-16T15:33:20.476-04:002009-10-16T15:33:20.476-04:00Melanie, I am the biggest idiot on the planet; I w...Melanie, I am the biggest idiot on the planet; I was completely dumbfounded for a minute or so! My husband finally took pity on me and explained .... :) <br /><br />This is really clever. It was like THE SIXTH SENSE, where I kept going back over the story to make sense of it once I knew the twist. But it all works. As you said, the actions, the length of her legs and getting carried around and all that, it all makes sense for spiders and people both. <br /><br />I would agree with Jude that for your denser readers (like myself!!) making the title "The Spiders" would clue them in. Overall, a creative take on the prompt! Nice job.E. Flanigannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-20776209553372389582009-10-16T14:08:37.640-04:002009-10-16T14:08:37.640-04:00Thanks!
I was careful to only include actions th...Thanks! <br /><br />I was careful to only include actions that spiders can do like kicking, walking, climbing. I'm glad it came off as cute -- I can't do icky scary.Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-8328355609254860682009-10-16T13:53:48.869-04:002009-10-16T13:53:48.869-04:00Melanie,
You're too funny ... I finished thi...Melanie, <br /><br />You're too funny ... I finished this with a giant smile on my face. You took my picture of huge, black spiders and made them CUTE! <br /><br />I especially liked the detail about the legs in the beginning--that's actually when I first started to suspect they were spiders.Jon VanZilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026643422328853037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-11538380511841009202009-10-16T10:34:12.417-04:002009-10-16T10:34:12.417-04:00That's a good idea.That's a good idea.Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-67016646868415196402009-10-16T10:30:36.499-04:002009-10-16T10:30:36.499-04:00Well, with this you want the last line to remain a...Well, with this you want the last line to remain a surprise, so I think a different title would do the trick. You could call it "The Spiders," and when readers get to the last line they'll realize the title is actually this family's name. :)Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-61734948209813522032009-10-16T09:56:25.505-04:002009-10-16T09:56:25.505-04:00Thanks guys.
Jude, I was just telling someone the...Thanks guys.<br /><br />Jude, I was just telling someone the other day that I'm HORRIBLE when it comes to photo prompts. I can't seem to get around the idea that the reader can see the picture. I know I shouldn't do it, but I do. Maybe it's my tendency to be overly subtle...Melanie Hooyengahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08781235493983907234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-81946413227650012342009-10-16T09:49:34.216-04:002009-10-16T09:49:34.216-04:00Melanie - very cool. I enjoyed this story tremendo...Melanie - very cool. I enjoyed this story tremendously. Keep on writing.<br /><br />SteveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125214612971306615.post-46556919185369563412009-10-16T09:42:41.204-04:002009-10-16T09:42:41.204-04:00I had to think about this for a minute, and then I...I had to think about this for a minute, and then I finally realized that Steve and Sheila and Stacy are...spiders!<br /><br />Very cool. Maybe you could think of a title that would give a clue. I'm not sure a reader who didn't know you were working from a prompt would have figured it out.Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.com