Thursday, February 5, 2009

Basking in the Self-Indulgent Glow of My Own Genius

Today is D minus 1, which means that tomorrow I'll be sending a new book to my agent, so it's off to the pony show again. This is a sample of the dialogue running through my head the past few days:

Me: "I really like this book."
Myself: "Me too! I think it pretty much rules!"
Me: "You do?! I couldn't agree more! You know, this might have the makings of a modern classic."
Myself: "That's so funny! I was just thinking the same thing!"
Me: "What about that one part, you know when—"
Myself: "Wait! Wait! Don't tell me! I know exactly which part already! It's genius! G-E-N-I-U-S!"

So am I fool? Am I deluded? Insecure? Drunk? An arrogant ass? Is this book really that good?

Who knows? I'm pretty certain the market will tell me soon enough. But I believe this deeply: you better love your own book with the fierce energy of a momma hyena with her cubs. Because once it gets out there, trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities to defend it. 

Now, I'm not saying it can't get better. I'm certainly not saying I wouldn't work enthusiastically with editors who know this biz better than me. But I am saying that if I don't passionately believe in my own idea, my own story, and my potential to knock this f*&$%# out of the park, then no one ... else ... will.

So how about you? Do you love your book? Then shout it from the rooftop ...


8 comments:

Mark Terry said...

Ah yes, the upswing of the bi-polar disorder we all know as BEING A WRITER. In my case, I LOVE my novel... until I'm sure it smells like sour owl poop and nobody will buy it, but then, wait, what do they know, I LOVE MY BOOK... and then...

LurkerMonkey said...

LOL! Ain't it true ...

Amy Nathan said...

Sometimes I forget that I do love my book - which is leading me to post about 'stepping away' for a bit. I know if I can't stand behind my work, no one else will. I think of it as a little recess from the school of my writing life.

Zoe Winters said...

Well, I say that when you DO get a book deal, you need to try to negotiate so you get money both for "me" and "myself."

Maybe it'll raise your advance.

LurkerMonkey said...

Amy,

I forget too, but it's usually during the waiting: "Will it get rejected" and "Is it good enough?" and "I could have made it better." I hope the writing siesta gives you some piece of mind :)

LurkerMonkey said...

Zoe,

The problem is, those bastards would never share it fairly.

Jude Hardin said...

I'm always in doubt until JP and associates give me a thumbs-up.

Even then...by the time I sent this last rewrite in, I still loved my book, but I loved it in the way I might love a twenty-five-year-old loafer of a son who still lives at home. I just want it to get a haircut and get a job!

LurkerMonkey said...

That's too funny, Jude. A job and a haircut. Ha ha ha.