I know you know who I am, so why are you ignoring me? My name is Jalen Rose, and you're about to spend who knows how long writing a story about my life. Remember? You've been working on it every day lately, my story? So, really, why are you ignoring me? I've tried to tell you—I don't know how many ways—that I'm OLDER than you insist on thinking of me as. Why won't you let me grow up? I'm not a baby anymore. I'm not a little kid. So, please, dude, get it through your stubborn, thick head, that I'm not a little munchkin. Thanks.
Nice to meet you! Of course I know who you are. And I know how much you've been struggling to age yourself. You're all ready to grow up, and maybe I'm just having trouble letting you go. At least partly.
You see, if you're older, that means I'm writing for a different audience. It means this book isn't for middle-graders, but that it's true YA. And I don't know if I really want to write a YA book right now. Also, and this one is trickier, I've noticed that all my characters are aging along with my oldest son. You guys are always about two or three years ahead of him in age, so I'm wondering: is all this writing for him, in a weird sort of way? Is he my muse? So that's why I'm resisting. I want to establish myself as an author in MG right now ... I've worked pretty hard at it. And I don't want to hop around in demographics. Thanks for your understanding.
Demographics? "Establish myself as an author in MG?" Your muse? Listen, nut job, just because you need therapy doesn't change the fact that I'm still older than you think. So as your friend Erica might say, BE with it for a while. Then live with it.
Ugh. Fine. Whatever. You win.
Of course I do. :)