In a nutshell, I finished the book I was working on. Throughout the book, the response was very good—and there are lots of things to like about it. But I realized when I finished that I didn't actually have a book. I had a set-up to a longer series. There was no plot. And most people like a plot in their book.
This, naturally, has provoked an intense round of soul-searching. What the hell? How could I make such a rookie, dumb error? How could I not see such a thing until readers pointed it out? This isn't my first book, or my second, or even my fifth. Anyway, in between moping and feeling like a moron and all that discouragement, I just couldn't find the heart to blog about writing. So I've been taking a break.
In my original plan, I would finish this draft and begin querying this summer. But that plan is shot now, and I had to spend a few days with the idea that this book was essentially worthless and could never be queried in its current form before I decided what to do.
Logic tells me I could easily move onto another project. But ultimately, when you get down to it, I'm just not that guy. I wish I could move on. I wish I could just shelve it and sit on it, let it go, and go onto another book. But I can't, even though I know I'm dangerously close to the line where determined becomes foolhardy and stubborn becomes self-destructive. I just hate giving up, and I WANT to get this story right. I've written two books about this same story now, not including all the world-building. It's like the story deserves a better writer than it got, but we're stuck together for now.
So I started over from a blank page. I started at chapter one and started rewriting another version of the same story, but I moved whole chunks of the story from future planned books into this one. I covered in the first five pages what took me 75 to cover before. I'm not even bothering to outline anymore. What's the point? I know the story and the world so well, it's like second nature at this point.
Anyway, I started out this blog entry to say that I was taking a vacation from blogging for a while. But ... I think I'll keep this version. Maybe one day, it'll make better sense.